I would describe myself as an introvert, but one thing I absolutely nailed was my marriage. I married someone who fits with me so well. We've been married for almost 14 years, we have 3 kids, and lots of responsibilities, but we still have lots of fun hanging out with each other and we make time to do that. Some of our most fun dates are still just going on walks and having a meal together.
I think if you've got a marriage like that, you've won. If you can layer on a few friendships, than you have plenty, and if you can layer on a community like a Church then you have abundance.
If you don't know where to start, a Church is a great place to start.
I've come around to the idea of Church as a community building utility, third space sort of thing, but the religious aspect does not appeal to me at all so that's not an option to me. I'm not going to go surround myself with people that I disagree with on such a fundamental philosophical level and call that my community
As community organizations I think Churches seem at least somewhat decent. If only we could keep the community stuff without the religious stuff.
I dunno. I think we need (free / community funded) third spaces to make a big comeback. Where do people even go to meet anyone now?
I have a counselor suggesting I go try out tech conferences and meetups, but those have always felt like career building activities to me, not social activities. It's not the same at all.
Keep it simple and boil it down to the big categories: for example, physical health, mental health, social health. Don't try to do it all at once, if you can touch one category each day great. If you can touch every category every day even better.
The good thing is that most healthy activities feel good to do, so they're self-perpetuating. They don't give the instant shot of dopamine as unhealthy activities but they do give you something. Furthermore, they feed into each other. Doing one habit makes the resistance to starting another less.
Seriously, it was all so much easier when they all happened as a natural course of the day back in the day not even a few decades ago. Now you have to specifically schedule all these things because we have gotten rid of a lot of the fixtures that made this happen automatically in the course of a day.
I would describe myself as an introvert, but one thing I absolutely nailed was my marriage. I married someone who fits with me so well. We've been married for almost 14 years, we have 3 kids, and lots of responsibilities, but we still have lots of fun hanging out with each other and we make time to do that. Some of our most fun dates are still just going on walks and having a meal together.
I think if you've got a marriage like that, you've won. If you can layer on a few friendships, than you have plenty, and if you can layer on a community like a Church then you have abundance.
If you don't know where to start, a Church is a great place to start.
I've come around to the idea of Church as a community building utility, third space sort of thing, but the religious aspect does not appeal to me at all so that's not an option to me. I'm not going to go surround myself with people that I disagree with on such a fundamental philosophical level and call that my community
As community organizations I think Churches seem at least somewhat decent. If only we could keep the community stuff without the religious stuff.
I dunno. I think we need (free / community funded) third spaces to make a big comeback. Where do people even go to meet anyone now?
I have a counselor suggesting I go try out tech conferences and meetups, but those have always felt like career building activities to me, not social activities. It's not the same at all.
The book in question:
* https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/61273746-the-good-life
Excerpt:
* https://archive.is/https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive...
See also discussions on happiness from earlier:
* https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=48996364
* https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=49000600
* https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=47441784
Wow, I could keel over any minute...
i feel more stressed out by all these things you are supposed to do to not die in misery. Nothing is enough. There is always some other thing to do.
Keep it simple and boil it down to the big categories: for example, physical health, mental health, social health. Don't try to do it all at once, if you can touch one category each day great. If you can touch every category every day even better.
The good thing is that most healthy activities feel good to do, so they're self-perpetuating. They don't give the instant shot of dopamine as unhealthy activities but they do give you something. Furthermore, they feed into each other. Doing one habit makes the resistance to starting another less.
The article isn't really suggesting anything new, just something that perhaps have forgotten/neglected/never learned.
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs listed physical and social health, among other things, as prequisites for a happy healthy life in 1943.
Like most things, 80-20 rule probably applies.
> It was satisfaction in their relationships, particularly in their marriages, that was the best predictor of a happy and healthy life.
Good marriages is probably the 80. If you nailed that you've won.
> Nothing is enough.
Words to live by!
Seriously, it was all so much easier when they all happened as a natural course of the day back in the day not even a few decades ago. Now you have to specifically schedule all these things because we have gotten rid of a lot of the fixtures that made this happen automatically in the course of a day.